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Bruce
and
EvilBruce

the truest bond of human experience is of our similar thoughts and actions that span the difference of gender and race.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

CHAPTER 22: FEAR

Fear. 

Men do have fears. However, the fears should not paralyze us. Writing this chapter is making me afraid. 

Just kidding. 

I am wary. Wariness is not fear. Trepidation is not fear. Fear must be tackled. This is smash mouth, in your face, straight up RDACE, facing fear.   

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
--- Frank Herbert, Dune - Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear
                              
And….

“Courage is not the lack of fear but the ability to face it.”
---- Lt. John B. Putnam Jr. (1921-1944)” [i]

Facing a fear is not easy. It is not always fun, however it is an adventure. It should not stop us. It should not paralyze us. There are many times when I have been afraid, some recent, most in my youth. I am not trying to say that I am Mr. Tough Guy, or invincible, but I do not dwell on fear. I lived in a van, and played guitar on the street, and that at times was scary… 

Fear is a disease. It is cured by facing it, head-on, with education, or stupidity.

I do not recommend the stupidity method; it is frequently used by the THMB&WTC. The cure is sometimes worse than the affliction. I do recommend facing and gaining education of your fears. That will cure 90% of the fears you have. 

Or stop watching horror films.

Fear can be good. It can help us make some intelligent choices. It can also be bad. It can make us make some stupid choices. Fear, however is typically neutral, although it may have helped in the propagation of the species.

“….From an evolutionary perspective, fear has certainly been a good thing, protecting humans.”[ii]


Yeah, right. Right? Maybe. Doubt it? Hmmmm. 

I am afraid I was not really paying attention. What are we talking about? 

Oh yeah, fear. 

Fears did help us at times in our historical past. And we did get rid of most of the witches, by burning them at the stake. And there is always the fear of failure. No one likes to fail. Fears are good?

If we had no fear, the world would be filled with the THMB&WTC crowd. Of course the world would only have a handful of occupants. Maybe that would not be so bad. It would sure cure those traffic snarls and road rage. 

Stupidity kills. There would be fewer wars, and terrorism. However, the species would not last either. Stupidity would see to that. 

Fear is good!

“If we open any recent book on the origins of religion, we find that there is one point on which all authors are in agreement. They agree that religion arose in the world out of fear.”[iii]

Wait a minute. 

People are dying because of religious convolutionists. Wars are started by these IOT.  Religion may have been created by and for the fears of our human minds; however, I am afraid that the creation of religion may be detrimental to the survival of our species. 

How is that for irony? 

The very question, fear, which religion is supposed to answer, creates more fear.  Pick up almost any newspaper today or refer to a history book and you can read about the bloody wars attributed to these religious intolerances and the persecution of people of differing religious beliefs. 

The Middle East. Ireland. The crusades. The Bible. 
There are many more.

Just the other day I was walking down the street and I saw a rabbi and a catholic priest involved in fist-to-cuffs. A group of Jehovah’s Witness’s were standing nearby, watching the altercation and quickly jumped into the fray, Then some Seventh Day Adventists and a group of Muslims got involved. 

The battle was in full swing. 


It was almost quelled when a Buddhist monk began to talk them all down from the ledge, however, an Amish buggy ran over the monk, and I had to break it up. 

Thankfully, I know how to calm people down. I merely started a conversation about the Detroit Lions. While we all had our own opinions on the upcoming season, we all could agree they have really sucked. Since MM came to town.

Until last year.
They were not bad. 

That and we all truly hate the Packers.

One of my biggest fears however, has to do with Sundays. And it is not about which religion to believe, which church to attend. Or that I will get skunked fishing. This fear is most prevalent in the fall, when the modern day gladiators assemble in the coliseums of cities like Green Bay, Denver, Dallas and of course, 
Detroit. On these particular Sundays, my favorite team, the LIONS, usually gets a spanking. I am afraid I may not live to see the LIONS in the Super Bowl, let alone WIN a Super Bowl. This thought send chills down my spine. 

Oh, and in case you are wondering praying does not help. 

Damn those Detroit Lions. 

However, I am not paralyzed by these fears. I keep on watching them play and lose. And while I am watching I am still able to knock down a couple Rolling Rocks.™  See, the ability to drink is proof that this horrific fear does not paralyze me. I face it. 

Every Sunday. During football season.

Fears, when they become irrational, become phobias. In case you wanted to know, the LIONS win just enough games to keep my fear from becoming irrational. I can justify anything. I am a LIONS fan.  However, there are many different phobias. 

Try this link if you want to find out how many there are. http://www.phobialist.com/reverse.html 

I stopped counting at seven, at which point my fear of the next number, eight, which I cannot mention due to my Octophobia, kicked in. My favorite phobia name is Arachnophobia. The movie was a bit lame, but I love the word. 
Arachnophobia… I really do not like spiders, they creep me out, crawling around in your mouth at night, and taking a big dump. 

That is where morning breath comes from, right? Spider poop?

There are also fears that men face when they are about to become a father. I would think the fear of having a daughter would be on this list. As a man, I have decided my daughter will not date until she is 35. Besides, as I mentioned earlier, I will scare off any WBS

I KNOW what guys want, I know what they will say when they are involved in TOBGL

Moreover, the fear of seeing her on television on a late night infomercial for Hotsie Totsie Naked Co-eds or the ilk, is well, you know just plain creepy. However, there is no mention of these very real and possible fears in the following quote.

“Seven fears expectant fathers face Security fears Performance fears Paternity fears  Mortality fears  Fear for your spouse's or child's health  Relationship fears  Fears of "women's medicine"[iv]

What the hell are fears of “women’s medicine”? I can grasp all the others, but “women’s medicines?” I thought we killed all the witches centuries ago. Didn’t we? Probably not, as there is this “women’s medicines” to be afraid of now. 

I did not research what this phrase means, however I can guess it has something to do with caldrons and boiling men, after the kids are born. 

Or voodoo dolls. 

I did not research it because I was afraid. No, moreover, I have already used my allotted time for research on other fear related nonsense.

"Perhaps the most famous fear quote of all time: The only thing we have to fear is fear itself - nameless, unreasoning, unjustified, terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance."
---- FDR - First Inaugural Address, March 4, 1933[v]

Actually, there is only one thing men really have to fear is….Having a vasectomy…

“Having an operation involving the testicles is every man's fear. To a greater or lesser degree, just about every man would rather not have anything to do with a procedure on or near his genital region. Simply recognizing that this fear exists is a first step.” [vi]

BS…there is no first step for me. Step away from the grapes, and no one, especially me, gets hurt. I know guys that have had this procedure done. It has been horror story after horror story. Oh yeah, a couple guys have had a decent go ‘round with this procedure, but not enough to change MY mind. 

No thank you, I will pass. 

I would rather have my eyes gouged out with spoons. Phobia, fear, irrational? Do not care. Leave the sack where it is at, and we all will live to see another day.

“It's often a measure of comfort to the man that the vasectomy is far easier for him than surgical options would be for his wife.”[vii]

No way would it be a comfort to me. I do not wish anyone that kind of pain. Not even my wife! Unless it is a matter of life or death, I would NOT prefer my wife have this spayed-thingy, procedure, or surgery either.

I am afraid I have run out of things to say on fear. But this will not paralyze me. I have other topics to discuss. 

Together we have faced this fear thing... 

Let’s move on...